DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/30/07):

President George W. Bush says:

"It is important to recognize and appreciate cultural diversity...

...It is equally important to recognize and appreciate the effect a partially digested beef, bean, and cheese chalupa has on your bowels during an African Tribal dance."

India

Yes--the whole country of India. Actually my focus is really on the radical conservative right wing party in India. So this past week, actor celebrity Richard Gere was at an AIDS benefit in India hosted by the people in charge of Bollywood. He apparently was on stage where he--now if this next part offends you I apologize, apparently to some this act is a lewd and obscene gesture that warrants 3 months in prison--so Mr. Gere kisses a popular Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty on the cheeks and-- wait for it--he dips her and then has the gall to kiss her on the cheeks again. This is considered an obscene act in India--you are not supposed to show signs of public affection. Every culture has there little peccadilloes but this is kind of ridiculous. I think these right winger Indians need to calm down breathe deeply and rejoin us in the 21st Century. The last I heard India has a Parliamentary system, which is a form of a democracy. I know that not every country has the same rights that we do here in the United States but--he didn't feel the girl up or anything. He just kissed her on her cheeks. Lighten up India, if you want to be seen as kinder gentler brother to some of the fundamentalist whackos in the Middle East then keep on this self indulgent 50's era hatred of any kind of sexuality no matter how banal. So here it is fresh from Nuge's house the Celebrity Bucket of Dumb.

Maybe it is obscene!!! Is he dry humping her?

MOVIE REVIEW: Hot Fuzz

This past weekend I got a chance to see the second film by Director Edgar Wright and writer Simon Pegg and honestly I can tell you that it is as funny and original as their first film Shaun of the Dead. They lovingly use the quick cuts from every action movie from Speed to Bad Boys to overblown action sequences from films like Die Hard. This was a clever spoof of the action genre that made it clear that it was not laughing at action films but possibly laughing along side.
Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is a dedicated cop who follows the letter of the law very seriously. He kicks butt and takes names and he doesn't ever cross the line. He apparently does his job so well that his superiors become jealous of him so they promote him and ship him out of town. Bill Nighy puts in a great cameo role as the police Commissioner who tries to let Angel know not so subtlety that he is making the other officers look like Bureaucratic buffoons and they would just prefer he take his little promotion and get out of town. Angel tries to take his new assignment in stride; as soon as he gets there he busts a bunch of underage kids drinking. The town is a sleepy little hamlet outside of London where crime is a seemingly rare occurrence, although they seem to have a high rate of terrible accidental deaths. My personal favorite was when one of the townsfolk “Accidentally” stabs herself in the neck with her garden shears. Angel begins to think that the accidents are actually foul play and that someone is committing mass murder. With the help of his witless sidekick Danny (Nick Frost), the duo crack some heads in order to get to the bottom of the brutal deaths. Danny follows Nick like a lap dog. The guy is completely obsessed with action flicks especially Point Break and Bad Boys. They do some great homage shots from both films by the way. You got a great cast here with the aforementioned as well as Timothy Dalton, Jim Broadbent, Stuart Wilson and Martin Freeman. The best though is the shoot out at the end of the film where Danny and Angel have to duke it out with members of the township. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. The film is shot well it’s clever and entertaining and funny as shit so get off your arse and see it soon before Spider-Man 3 blows it from existence next week.

Grade: 4 Buckets

DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/23/07):

Alec Baldwin says:

"Nice guy? I don't give a shit.
Good father? Fuck you!
Go home and play with your kids."

Ted Nugent

This has been a pretty tough week with the 32 dead at Virginia Tech and today with two dead at NASA; it takes someone nuts like Ted Nugent to put everything in perspective. Everyone should know the Nuge from his exploits as a musician and as a TV celebrity on VH1. Everyone should also know that the Nuge is a gun nut and is completely insane. After reading his Op-ed piece this morning you can add dumb redneck to that list.

Personally I wish people in general would not trivialize or politicize these terrible events when they occur, but because of the 24 hour news cycle I think it is almost impossible to avoid these kinds of statements. Ironically I haven't really heard very much if anything at all from anyone talking about the importance of gun control or the assault weapons ban. So what is the Nuge's problem, obviously the left has decided that this issue is a dead one that the American people don't really care so it hasn't really been a political issue since the early 90's. If he was trying to make a political statement in defense of weapons I think he did a pretty bad job. I think he proved their point about gun control.
In his Op-Ed piece he talks about the good guys having weapons to counter the bad guys like its high noon or something. Is he that naive to think that if everyone has a firearm or an automatic weapon that somehow some way gun violence will drop? I will admit as I search the internet apparently accidental gun deaths have dropped over the last few years and that is a good thing. But isn't it the responsibility of everyone in this country to try to get the guns out of the hands of those that would misuse them? For instance the kid from Virginia Tech, he had a documented history of emotional problems and a police record that stated he was a danger to himself and to others, yet he was still able to buy two handguns legally with a credit card. This is the problem here. If we are going to have guns legally than they need to be sold responsibly, otherwise this will certainly happen again. They are dangerous weapons that can inflict massive deaths in a matter of seconds. This isn't a political statement it is a physical reality. Instead of fighting each other about whether or not we should have guns we should be fighting specifically about which guns civilians should be able to have. So on behalf of Troy's bucket I bequeath to the stupid former rocker the official Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb--Congratulations Mr. Nugent and just remember please do us all a favor and keep the safety on, Nutbar.

DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/18/07):

Abe Vigoda says:

"It's simply irresponsible to suggest that the majority of Catholic priests are child predators.
It's those damn birthday clowns you need to watch out for!"

DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/17/07):

Don Imus says:

"Rest assured America, now that I've gotten my just desserts, we can all move on as though everything else in the world is A-OKAY."

DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/10/07):

Leonardo DiCapario says:

"Adorable, baby polar bears are the real heroes."

MOVIE REVIEW: Shooter

If you are an angry citizen who is completely fed up with the bureaucracy of the United States then you will love this movie. If you are a Democrat or a Republican (especially a Democrat) who feels that Corporate America has taken over this country for its own nefarious deeds in and outside of this wonderful country we call America--then you will really enjoy this movie especially the ending. This kind of reminded me of Rambo for some reason--I guess because the films star is a loner bad ass ex-military guy who carries a lot of personal baggage, like John Rambo from First Blood. Although Mark Wahlberg's Bob Lee Swagger is a different kind of mean machine--when he starts blowing heads off at an alarming rate you can't help but recall an angry long haired soldier standing in the middle of a fire fight screaming a battle cry as he mows down the Commie bastards. Ronald Regan eat your heart out.

Bob Lee Swagger (Mark Wahlberg) is an angry mo-fo who can apparently shoot a tick off a dog's nose a half a mile to a mile out. Betrayed by his government he goes into isolation in the mountains wears a trucker’s hat and a redneck pony tail. That's when the government comes a calling. Colonel Johnson (Danny Glover) thinks that there is going to be an attempt on the President's life. He asks Bob Lee to put his grievance aside and help them stop this possible assassination attempt. After some mulling Bob Lee, being the hero of course, decides to help them out. Unfortunately the Colonel ain't such a good guy they frame poor Bob Lee for a failed attempt on the President's life and the sharp shooter has to run for his life. They make it look nice and neat I mean he has three names he's a disgruntled marksman--you couldn't get a better set up for the bad guys. So Bob Lee has to get his hands dirty a bit and make these bad men suffer, boy does he make them suffer. With the help of a rookie Fed, Bob Lee goes all Commando on Danny and his Halliburton boys. Yeah it can be silly at times but damn if it ain't fun.

Grade: 3 Buckets

DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/5/07):

Carrot Top says:

"Sure, dressing midgets up in baby clothes is funny, but that doesn't make it right."

DAILY CELEBRITY ADVICE (4/3/07):

Karl Rove says:

"They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side

They will possess you, unless you change the number on your dial

Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together

All thru the night Ill save you from the terror on the screen,

I'll make you see

That this is thriller, thriller night,

Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try."